P-F11: Week 1 NCAA Bonus - Goodbye to A&M

On the Week 1 NCAA card, I asked you guys to do a little role playing, agro style. You are:
a. The SEC welcoming the Aggies
b. The BigXII bidding the Aggies farewell
c. The Aggies introducing yourself

Team name, Your answer, Commissioner notes +points

ANo	Northmen	SEC: Welcome Baylor! ATM: ummm we're ATM SEC: Same difference......	Great start. An Aggie & Baylor joke. Nice. +4
GN	Ferments-A-Lot	Aggies! Someone told me you guys moved. I turned around to see if you were there, and sure enough... gone. How long has it been? I could have sworn I heard you back there all this time. Well, got some things to do. Good catchin' up. Gotta go.	Good one, me. +4
KW	The Yeasty Beasties	[REDACTED]	This winning entry will get its own post. +5
DW	Bevo XIV	Lassie will wake up in 2015 and realize that they are relegated to 1-7 conference record every year, assuming they manage to beat Ole Miss.	Collie reference. +4
KH	Mr. Smokeypants	I find it strange that none of the media coverage is centered on the ags running in the red. They are getting some valid props for appearing to think 100 years down the road. But knowing what we know about ags, Bill Byrne, and the turnstile leadership at the top, I'm guessing this is more motivated by the sinking ship that is their budget. You don't hear about their alumni coming to the rescue when times are tough. And the SEC cannot save all that sh*t. Enjoy just getting by ags. That's always a fun feeling. There's a reason ags enjoy cheap beer. It's all they can afford. And they can put that in the corn-cob pipes and smoke it. Goodbye and good luck fkrs. That goes for your little dog too. Don't let the 'Dores hit you on your way in.	(Almost) the best. Still worth top points. +5
KZ	Mad Bomber	another team to boost lsu's ranking when we beat them again and again. we welcome you aggies. tiger bait tiger bait!	Look out puppy, Tigers are licking their chops! +4
RK	BlitzKrieg	We would rather be out of t.u.'s shadow than be successful. CORPS - LET'S SHOW THESE FOLKS HOW WE SQUEEZE OUR PACKAGE FOR EIGHTH PLACE! WHOOP!	All true. +4
CCa	Chicainery	Well as a UT fan I say fuck the Aggies, but hopefully that annual game continues. No natural rivalry with LSU...they don´t really make sense in the SEC. Man I go off the grid for a few weeks and this is what happens? I guess the Big 12 is dying a slow, slow death...bad timing for the Longhorn Network.	Or perfect timing. Have you seen Texas make any effort to stop them? Just saying. +4
KSc	Large Donkey IPA	Welcome ATM! Congratulations you are moving from a conference where you were the 3rd best team sometimes to a conference where you will be no better than the 6th best team ever. At least you can be competitive with Kentucky and Vanderbilt (at least some years). Bring your little dog and swaying garbage and we will bury them all in the end zone of Death Valley.	Endzone burials are totally cool. +4
GF	Kentucky Wildmen	(no answer)	+0
JH	Bob and Gary Destroyers	Finally, the forgotten little brother is moving out of the house to try to make a name for himself. Unfortunately, he'll always be overshadowed by the success of his bigger and older brother.	This is why they hate Texas. +4
CCo	Beelzebubbles	Go already!! GET THE F*@$ OUT!! You still here? Take your 18 teeth amoungst you football team and get gone already! Nobody likes you! Nobody wants you! I cant even bear to look at you! You make me sick! You make me want to literally tear my eyes out everytime I read another dang story about you!! Please go away already..and God Bless	This is why they hate Texas Tech. +4
DCo	Cacti3	Cheers big ears! Now get Ta steppin!	Word. +4
Lo	WhooDat4Life	Welcome to the SEC! After signing the appropriate papers please go ahead and register your bribery err...supplemental recruiting account with the division. And although you will not have a winning season we will find at least 3 to 4 "duck" teams to keep your boosters happy!	What!? The next thing you are going to tell me is that the SEC isn't known for its academics! +4
A-C	Topo Chicas	Adios Aggies. Peace out. I hope your "pretend Army fatigues" and silly little haircuts are received well.	Their fake, unaffiliated military dudes will bust a cap. Just maybe saying. +4
DD	Devil Dawgs	My name is Texas A&M. I haven't had a.... meaningful late-season game in 12 years. I gave up my rivalry, and place in football history. I am now a cautionary tale. I am the new Arkansas. Welcome to the SEC. To paraphrase the great Dan Hawkins, it's intramural football, it ain't the Big 12.	Trend alert. A&M is the new Arkansas! +4
CG	13 National Championships	Aggie slaps... Please note the lack of male cheerleaders in the SEC, just saying... Oh, and don't be surprised if an ole boy in a BAMA shirt tries to defend your lady as you tongue rape her after an aggie score, we don't play that shit. Other than that I'm looking forward to watching beat downs on the reg in college station.	I thought you guys all rooted for each other, right? +4
JB	Pimp Posse	A&M you can come to the SEC but you can not have fishbowl rights....those belong to LSU for the state of Texas in the SEC....	What are fishbowl rights? Seriously, I tried to look it up. +4
MN	Booyah!	Farewell. Maybe the SEC will approve of your inbreeding and white trash ways....	What constitutes an improvement. And will we notice? +4
JN	Naked Bootleggers	Take our little brother (OSU) as well!	Don't ruin this for Texas, okies! +4
ANe	SEC Rejects	Howdy Y'all!! We are Texas A&M. We hate UT so much we had to move here just to punish them. We feel the best way to hurt UT is to open up an SEC recruiting pathway into Texas. We obviously can't attract any quality athletes, but hopefully Florida, Alabama, and the other high quality SEC opponents can. It might actually help us get some new talent too, as we can purchase some players once we join up, after our $28 Million dollar penalty wears off anyway. I know that we aren't ever going to compete in football in the SEC, but wait until you see our 12th man! I think you are going to like the fact that we alienated many of our fans because they won't travel as much and you will not have to compete with all those Aggie faithful. We only ask that you go easy on us that first year...we are already sore from being bent over so many times by UT. Thanks for the welcome!	Most of us stopped listening at Howdy. +4
MF	1 Man Wolfpack	thanksgiving's been real, later poozies	I don't hear poozy enough in my regular life. +4
SE	Team Awesome	Aggies welcome to the SEC, the hardest division in college football yall better be ready to play against some of the best teams in the nation. bring your A game thanks SEC	Mark my words, Aggies are going to WIPE THE FLOOR with SEC equestrian teams!1! +4
SS	Rose Ate It	The Big XII is burning. Smart move, ags, getting out on your own terms before the conference is completely destroyed. Good luck. You're going to need it.	Wrong! The aggies aren't arrogant or self centered. Remember? +4
CW	Roughnecks	Whoever thinks that the Longhorn Network (LHN) will be influential towards recruiting needs to be drug out into the middle of the street and put out of commission. Yes, UT will air the first football game on LHN. IT'S AGAINST RICE PEOPLE. The only people who are going to be watching it are Longhorn faithful and about 20 Rice fans. After that, what's the biggest show to be aired on LHN? WOMEN'S VOLLEYBALL vs PEPPERDINE! PEPPERDINE! and after that? WOMEN'S SWIMMING VS SOME COMMUNITY COLLEGE IN CALIFORNIA! Who is going to watch that? Even Mack Brown is already tired of camera crews in his office during meetings while they are discussing strategies for upcoming games. All of this makes A&M cry foul. You guys agreed to it last year when Colorado and Nebraska jumped ship from the Titanic. Guess what baby - this ship is going down.	That pesky network. You know, the same network that Bill Byrne declined to be a part of a few years back. For Texas, the network isn't about the Rice game… it's a 100 year decision. +4
KSh	Hellfish	This is all a sham. In a year or two, the rivalry game will be back and that's really all anyone cares about. UT will continue to hate A&M and vice versa. It's great for both schools. A&M gets from out of the shadows of UT, and now UT can set up the Big 12 exactly like they want it...ie..adding BYU. In the end, like everything else in college sports, this is all about a money grab. During this process, the higher ups have figured out a way to stir up a bee hive that is the moronic fan bases of both schools. Hope this qualifies in your little bonus point competition. The rest of you numb nuts will need it to keep up with Hellfish.	I think Texas fans' problem is that they don't hate the aggies enough. Maybe this will help. +3. Insulting the commisioner is an interesting approach to get subjectively assigned bonus points. +1 for the ballsiness.
MM	Throwin' Darts	(no answer)	+0
AP	Gig'em Baby	So long to the orange and the white! T.U. can keep their network and their cheap antics to recruit players and will be playing with just themselves in the future. A&M will face tougher competition, and will rise up to the challenge in short order. As a parting gift, the Aggies will win the championship...good luck and Gig'em!	+4 for capitalizing T.U. That's respect! Aggies will win the next FIVE championships, right?
KP	Chumlee's Banditos	Farewell A&M have fun getting your butt kicked by SEC teams	Their butts are used to things. Thumbs up! +4