Pickem Dash Football

Time to get stupid scared. (hit play for the full effect) [Picture The Paperboys (KW) walking in slow with a bit of a strut. Maybe like a bit of a pimp walk. Picture his parents horrified as they realize the lyrics are foul, shocking, and straight up scary as sh!t. Picture KW eating a cockroach and not throwing it up] He's a Texan fan. Just kidding. He's a Texas fan. Just kidding. He's from Texas and a cowboy. Just kidding. A farmer. He's got mad flow. Just kidding. His gas is sweet. He rides the train to save energy. Just kidding he's the engineer. Just kidding. He is an Engineer. And he makes beer . And drinks a lot too, but that's because he makes so much. It's scary. But seriously. Yonkers is a scary song. It's so scary that the music alone can make other songs scary too. Are your picks are scary good or scary bad? (the most recent scores are now being tracked in a newer post)

(Hit play for the full effect of the introduction) You may know him as AccidentChild (MN), but he didn't even leave a team name in his registration this year. There's nothing wrong with him. Let the bodies hit the floor. He likes The Real Housewives, but obvs only ironically. There's nothing wrong with him. Let the bodies hit the floor. He spent a good portion of his life looking almost exactly like what many people think Jesus looked like. There's nothing wrong with him. Let the bodies hit the floor. He's like family to me, because he's actually -- like -- family. There's nothing wrong with him. Let the bodies hit the floor. Great picks are something all of us need. Great picks are something that money can’t buy, and something you can't fully enjoy football season without But most of us learn to cope. Great picks are the stuff that dreams are made of. It’s that quality of the picks that makes the future look brighter and football worth watch...

NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 18 Form NFL - Week 18 Printable Card

Ladies and gentlemen!! We'll cover two games on this post. But first, I’d like to kick off our Pick’em Dash Football player spotlight. (Hit play on the jam below for the full effect.) Our first spotlight He won’t hold back his passion for the Cowboys and Longhorns. You may remember Lost Cause (JH) as the guy who recently blew the 2013 NCAA Pick’em contest. At press time, the Bowl Challenge lead is his to lose. He is quite literally a Lost Cause. Don’t. Make. Him. Cloooose!!! One more door. Lost Cause (JH) is picking perfect right now. Our first game today is the Beeeeeeeeef Oooooo’ Brady’s Bowl. Has anyone been to this place? It may just be like a Chilis, but I have to give them props for having Beef in their name. That does something inside for me. This year’s edition has the C-USA champion. What’s that? Oh, OK. Today is C-USA RUNNER UP – huh? Today we have C-USA EAST runner-up, hailing from the state of East Carolina vs a team from the state Ohio, although I...

At this time of year we think about the greatest gift that mankind ever received --- College Football. Bowl season was born out of someone's idea to extend the joy of college football season by one more game to bring even more joy to the already joyful joyousness. For over a decade, this has been celebrated by the act of picking each game straight up and ranking each based on confidence. Today, bowl season has been commercialized to the point that we start talking about it in August and we only get games that make a select few the richest. Today we still pick in remembrance of the true gift: approximately one half of one third of the P-F pot. After all, as a person once said, “It is more blessed to pick than abstain. Seriously.” Click on the picks below to make it bigger. Depending on your browser, you may also need to right click and "view image" to be able to zoom. (the most recent scores are now being tracked in a newer post )

NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 17 Form NFL - Week 17 Printable Card

One is the loneliest number of cards. NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 16 Form NFL - Week 16 Printable Card

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 15 Form NCAA - Week 15 Printable Card NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 15 Form NFL - Week 15 Printable Card

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 14 Form NCAA - Week 14 Printable Card NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 14 Form NFL - Week 14 Printable Card

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 13 Form NCAA - Week 13 Printable Card NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 13 Form NFL - Week 13 Printable Card

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 12 Form   NCAA - Week 12 Printable Card   NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 12 Form NFL - Week 12 Printable Card

16 of the 28 teams have paid. What do I do now? Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand EXCUSES: Whine about the remaining 12 in every email for the next 3 months? - chicainery (CCa) I'm not into whining, but +3 for the math (28-16). You were always a good student. Start an over/under on the remaining members to pay out before the end or the regular season. Gary should be a 15:1 odds to pay out before Jan 1 - 93Bronco (GF) Finally, a way I could profit off of this pick'em game. Establish a gambli-- oh wait, never mind. +3 The government shutdown my paycheck. - Naked Bootleggers (JN), Inconsistent Losers (ANe) That is why you pay at the beginning of the season.  JN +3, ANe +8 I don't want to make family holidays awkward with a heated discussion about money on the back patio in front of everyone. It's hard to imagine something awkward happening at a family holiday get together. +3 If I pay before Sunday ...

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 11 Form NCAA - Week 11 Printable Card   NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 11 Form NFL - Week 11 Printable Card

I'M NOT DEAD! What a rough pick'em weekend. Both contests saw pretty low scores. Curiously, for the NCAA contest, everyone scored either 6, 7, or 8 with an average of 7. That's about as average as it gets. The NFL picks averaged 7 correct picks too, but there is bigger news: THE NFL WILL PLAY THE REST OF THE SEASON WITHOUT QUARTERBACKS. But seriously, Vince Young still can't get a job. The Astrodome died yesterday, because if it can't be turned into a convention center then it obviously can't be turned into anything. Houston has as many convention centers at the Astrodomain property and more in the city than the Aggies and Alabama have fake championships, respectively. What is wrong with people anyway? Who is clamoring to host their convention in the city of Houston?   "Howdy, I'm just walking out of my conference at the Astrodome. What do you want to do?" "You are in for a treat my man. Tons of choices. You can walk 2...

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 10 Form   NCAA - Week 10 Printable Card NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 10 Form NFL - Week 10 Printable Card

Tech and Missouri drop from the ranks of the undefeated. Heartbreaking. But seriously, how about that LSU/Furman game? The Northmen (ANo) filed a perfect NFL card this week -- a truly rare feat. I googled my email and found that our last perfect card was, like, a whole year ago (10/22/12, One Man Wolfpack (MF), NFL Week 8). Before that Monday Night game, I apparently did some P-F history research and wrote the following: Speaking of correct picks, a perfect card is nearly impossible. One of you old-timers can correct me if I'm wrong, but I only remember it happening twice ever. The most impressive of the two was Northmen's (ANo) perfect weekend, where she correctly picked 15 NCAA games and a full slate of NFL games (16). Mr. Smokeypants almost lived out a little league version of this feat this week. Smokeypants capitalized on an abbreviated card (I accidentally left off one game) during the bye-week part of the NFL schedule and had 11 of 11 picks correct g...

Even though the 2013 iteration of the Texas State Fair came to an end on October 20th, we here at Pickem Dash Football didn't want to miss the chance to review our favorite new food booths. DEEP FRIED STUFF Most of you kept with the grand tradition of state fairs and deep fried foods. BOOTH #22 - The Northmen (ANo): Deep Fried Macaroons. I googled deep fried macaroons , and what do you know, several people have tried doing this. For any of our Houston pickers who are interested in a good macaroon, check out the honey and goat cheese macaroon at Central Market or just about anything at Petite Sweets on Alabama near Kirby. Their bacon jam pancake mini cupcakes are fantastic as well. +3 BOOTH #A6 - Mrs. Carter's Moves (A-C): Fried pork dumpling ... on a stick. And for those not talented at the chop stick, that is pretty much how they would be eaten. I wish Booth #2 had a sauce with these, but I'll eat a dumpling any day. +3 (and now I'm really craving pork dumpl...

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 9 Form   NCAA - Week 9 Printable Card NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 9 Form NFL - Week 9 Printable Card

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 8 Form   NCAA - Week 8 Printable Card   NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 8 Form NFL - Week 8 Printable Card

Did your weekend pass too quickly? Let me catch you up. Mizzou is undefeated. The SEC wanted Big XII teams, and the SEC got Big XII teams. Or was Georgia just overrated? You guys can figure that out. I just want to post this picture. Message to fans: Don't make faces that gif'able when you are at a game that is being televised. Message to sports television producers: If you show the poor lady when she was sad about losing, you MUST go back and show her again when she is happy about winning. How awesome would that aggie comedy/tragedy poster be? And speaking of tragedies, 1st place The Paperboys' (KW) priorities were to murder animals from a distance and not to use his wireless pocket phone to make picks. But seriously, may your shots be straighter than your priorities, and I hope some tasty summer sausage comes from this. How accurate were you this week with your NCAA picks? Better than Michigan and Penn State kicking field goals? Week 7 NCAA Links: ...

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 7 Form NCAA - Week 7 Printable Card   NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 7 Form NFL - Week 7 Printable Card

I think everyone knows who would take this thing, but let's see what you guys said. Obviously miniature horses would win because of their low center of gravity and scary pig faces The horse, of course: Mad Bomber (KZ), Gig'em! (AP) +1 The horse, because the Irish are drunks: 15 National Championships (CG), Mississippi Mudpuppies (DR) +1 Haven't you seen the cartoons where the horse launches the people into oblivion with their hind legs? Short Irish fellows are people too, albeit little people. -Dirt Burglars (DT) +3, Solid argument Is the miniature horse pulling a stupid Conestoga wagon? Because that might change everything if he goes all Oregon Trail on the wee Irish lad. I think I would go all in on the horse though because the Irish contingent would probably be all into the Guinness allowing the horse to knock him the fk out. -Barrel Aged Donkey (KS) +4, I died one time on the Oregon Trail after the Conestoga wagon went all up on me and my band of wee ...

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 6 Form NCAA - Week 6 Printable Card NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 6 Form NFL - Week 6 Printable Card

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 5 Form NCAA - Week 5 Printable Card NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 5 Form NFL - Week 5 Printable Card

Mario Batali has it all, but if you had to pick, what would you rather be? Red on the head, fire in the bed. 24% Beelzebubbles (CCo) : A ginger quarterback for sure.  My almost albino skin will reflect from the Sun blinding the oncoming defense.  My receivers will be equipped with polarized glasses for UV protection so they will not be affected.  I will also then have a penis, because I am a boy. I'm not going to touch that one. +2 Bevo XIV (DW) : Ginger, as long as I can be slow, too. Slow is easy. Fast is hard. +1 Lost Cause (JH) : Ginger quarterback - can't handle the fat. Mmmm. Handling the fat. +2 Mrs. Carter's Moves (A-C) : OMG, Gingy all the way. Mmmm. All the way. +1 Gig'em! (AP) : Ginger fo sho! I think you'd make an adorable ginger. Let's do this! +1 AccidentChild (MN) : Is this really a question? Am I missing something? Ginger. You are missing the part where most of the league would rather be fat than ginger, but other than that... +1 F...

I've been out of town. Here are some relevant week 4 links for your clicking. NCAA Week 4 Scoreboard NCAA Overall Leaderboard NFL Week 4 Scoreboard NFL Overall Leaderboard (will post Sunday night)

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 4 Form NCAA - Week 4 Printable Card NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 4 Form NFL - Week 4 Printable Card

The Clowney hype is stupid. +3 Northmen (ANo): Here's hoping Clowney's "feeling better" this week.  Mrs. Carter's Moves (A-C): Wtf ...it's my birthday. Birthday's suck. +1 Chicainery (CCa): I'm so hopelessly out of touch with college football that I got nuthin fo ya. Filling this out sitting in an airplane in Frankfurt. Airplanes are awesome. Cell phone rules in airplanes are stupid. +1 Beelzebubbles (CCo): The more pick-em's I do the less I get you.  Is it more me or is it more you? I want to say its you. Couples get that way with each other. Love sucks. It's definitely you. +1 Longhorn Johnny Double D (DD) Johnny doesn't suck, and neither does that fake Longhorn tattoo. Manziel hatred is stupid. +3 Self Inflicted Wounds About the pics of wild topless OU sorority girls that’s made the Internet Dirt Burglars (DT): You have got to love dumb ass sorority chicks.  But Daddy did a pretty good job at getting the pics removed....

SCOREBOARD RECAP: P-F13 Week 3 NFL Scoreboard BONUS POINTS: Here is the breakdown for this week. Weekly Winner(s) = 3 pts: AP (15!) Double Digit Card (10+ picks correct) = 3 pts: AN, GN, KW, DW, KH, KZ, CCa, JH, CCo, DCo, A-C, CG, JB, JC, JN, AP, KP, MF, DD, DT, ANe, DR, DDi Game of the Week = 3 pts to everyone who correctly picked the Bengals over the Steelers Paid Entry Week = 1 pt every week: ANo, GN, DW, RK, A-C, JB, JC, AP, KP, DD, DT, ANe, DDi Weekly bonus question  = 0 to 3 points, subjectively scored. " Who would you rather be, a fat quarterback or a ginger quarterback? " See blog post for scores. LEADERBOARD: Everyone is still in it.

Damn it feels good in Tuscaloosa. Your browser does not support this audio Geto Boys - Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangsta What a game. Real good football. It was actually sad that someone had to lose that. SCOREBOARD RECAP: How'd you do? Check it. P-F13 Week 3 NCAA Scoreboard BONUS POINTS: Here is the breakdown for this week. Weekly Winner(s) = 3 pts: ANe Double Digit Card (10+ picks correct) = 3 pts: GN, KH, CG, JN, AP, ANe, DDi Game of the Week = BACKDOOR COVER!! 3 pts to everyone who correctly picked the Aggies. Paid Entry Week = 1 pt every week: ANo, GN, DW, RK, A-C, JB, JC, AP, KP, DD, DT, ANe, DDi Weekly bonus question  = 0 to 3 points, subjectively scored. "Your Bama/A&M pick.... why?" AGGIES BECAUSE... Inconsistent Losers (ANe): As much as I hate A&M and Johnny Football and all the ridiculous hype, I have to cheer against Alabama and all their fake championships. +2 Mississippi Mudpuppies (DR): 12th man. Not Manziel. Bam...

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 3 Form   NCAA - Week 3 Printable Card   NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 3 Form NFL - Week 3 Printable Card

How about those Cowboys and Texans, huh? Both are on pace to be undefeated this year.   SCOREBOARD RECAP: One person correctly picked Tennessee over Pittsburgh (DT, Dirt Burglars). One person incorrectly picked the Bills over the Patriots (DT, Dirt Burglars). Ballsy week 1 picks. DT finished with 10 of 16. How'd you do? Check it. P-F13 Week 2 NFL Scoreboard BONUS POINTS: Weekly Winner(s) = 3 pts: GF, JB, DD, DR Double Digit Card (10+ picks correct) = 3 pts: KW, KH, KZ, CCa, GF, JH, CCo, DCo, A-C, JB, JC, JN, KP, DD, DT, ANe, CS, DR Game of the Week = 3 pts to everyone who correctly picked Philly and Houston: KW, CCa, A-C, JC, CS, DDi Best Bets = 5 pts if all are correct: CCa, DD, GF, JH, JB, KP, KH, MN Paid Entry Week = 1 pt every week: ANo, GN, DW, RK, A-C, KP, DD, DDi More INTs Thrown= 3 pts: Look, you guys. It's ALWAYS Romo. It has never NOT been Romo. This week, it WASN'T FREAKING ROMO. Congrats to KW, JH, and MN who didn't pick Romo and accidental...

   SCOREBOARD RECAP: How'd you do? Check it. P-F13 Week 2 NCAA Scoreboard LEADERBOARD: It's only Week 2, but everyone loves rankings.

Or maybe just some rules are stupid. But I think we can all agree that there are a couple decent rules. Killing someone is pretty universally terrible. Unless of course he is your enemy. Or if he is on your property and has “that look.” Am I right? Your browser does not support this audio Troublemaker - Weezer The Golden Rule is pretty righteous. Treat others like they treat you. Nailed that. Competition, or sport, is fundamentally defined by rules. Some rules are certainly better than others. Limiting the number of time outs is great. Not allowing much more than a clap after a score seems a little excessive. However the collection of rules outlines the game for the competitors and provides a path for a fair win, loss, or (in some unfortunate situations) draw. Inside the competition, the game may have unwritten rules or gentlemen’s agreements in addition to the written rulebook. Outside the competition, the coaching staff may have rules for the team. The staff ma...

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 2 Form NCAA - Week 2 Printable Card NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 2 Form NFL - Week 2 Printable Card

Crazy? Wierd? Wild? Nahh, just football... and it's back. Your browser does not support this audio The Underdog - Spoon FCS teams beat Kansas State and a ranked (but-does-preseason-number-twenty-five-really-mean-anything-question-mark) Oregon State. Each of the FBS teams paid for those beatings. To me, this wasn't the biggest news. The McNeese State Cowboys destroyed the South Florida Bulls 53-21. But that wasn't the biggest news either. South Florida paid like $400K. South Florida sits at *that* table now!? SCOREBOARD RECAP: The league picked 57% against the spread this week. If we were in a casino, hopefully we at least enjoyed the game watching and scored some free drinks. The easiest picks on the board for us were South Carolina -11.5, Utah -2.5, Oklahoma -23.5, and LSU -4.5. All favorites. In fact, 12 of 15 favorites on the card covered in Week 1. That is not the typical trend. Fear the underdog. The toughest collective picks on the board turned ou...

The  Week  1 NCAA card is now live. hashtag letsdothis. The general due date for each week's card is before the kickoff the first game, which in this case means 8/29/13 5:00PM Central. We are doing Thursday games for Week 1, y'all. L ate picks totally happen, you guys, and I'll always take any pick that gets to me before the kickoff of a game.  But let's get this out of the way early: All your picks are time-stamped by the Google form, so don't even try with the "my iPhone lost my picks" excuse. Whatever. Google. Says. Goes. Also, I'm keeping the system I added last year where you can send partial cards or edits to your picks. If you fill out the form a second time, you only need to enter the picks you want to add/change and it will automatically be changed online. Note, the form won't stop you from making late picks or cheating, but I'll audit everything at the end of the week. Whatever. Google. Says. Goes. The Links: WEEK 1 CARD...