Pickem Dash Football

Robots are great y'all. They vacuum your floors, they clean your pool, they build your cars, and they (allegedly) kill your terrorists. Robots do a lot of things that we humans frankly do poorly. This is why I'm shocked robots don't built parking garages. You know how I can prove that we suck at building parking garages? Because there isn't a single one on the entire Earth that is the same. On top of that, all of them suck donkey. Don't tell me that it has to do with footprint. I've seen two adjacent garages on a the same block with two different designs. Parking garages are are like freaking snowflakes. Speaking of robots, Dean's Mediocre Picks (DDa) was just a little more human this week against the spread. Dude has been super silent on his 63% ATS methods. I'll crack that code though. I don't have much else to say about Week 5, a week that I remember most for a lot of bad games. Like I'm sure someone once said, there are no bad games, just ...

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 5 Form NCAA - Week 5 Scores NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 5 Form NFL - Week 5 Scores

How did you do in picking things this week? http://bit.ly/pf14-wk04-ncaa-scores http://bit.ly/pf14-wk04-nfl-scores Don't forget to look for the tabs on the upper left to see the leaderboard, etc. Week 4, like the week before, was a pretty sleepy week of football. NFL had a Super Bowl rematch that was epic-ish, Clemson/FSU wasn't really as good as the drama, your favorite team probably wo--holy sht did you see that Mississippi State guy stomp on LSU -- I mean stomp LSU -- I mean Mississippi State stomped LSU? I guarantee you that no Aggie dude saw it because they were too busy spraying their man sauce all over the walls while watching that animal porn video. I know you've been watching that on repeat, so I don't need to write much about it. Also, this guy already did it better . Let's not get all excited that the cadet did something that 9 out of every 10 normal people would have done. Let's get excited that he did it emoting some much aggyness. Hoot ho...

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 4 Form NCAA - Week 4 Scores NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 4 Form NFL - Week 4 Scores

What's going on in the NFL, you guys? Everyone is either injured, a really bad guy, or injured and a really bad guy!! But these guys are RICH! And we are all a wee bit jealous of that. What if being somewhere on the super shtty guy spectrum was required to be truly great? Could you be great? All of you that answered "Yes" can sit down now, you terrible bastards. I want to talk with the No's.  Have you ever joked, "Who do I have to kill to get..."?  Have you ever joked, "What woman do I have to knock the fk out to get..."  No? Not the last one? Don't get all pissed at me for typing it. Those are just questions, and we can all agree that the answer about domestic violence is deplorable. But murder? That sht is funny. Am I right? I'm just kidding y'all. All this stuff is screwing up the league. Can't we just go back to deciding if Redskins is racist? You can't hate numbers, so check these: NFL WEEK 3 SCO...

At the heart of this game of Pickem-Football is one basic principle: Make good picks . But before you have the opportunity to make these picks, you rely on your game commissioner to pick the games for you to pick. It is with a humble heart that I admit failure this week. Now I don't often fail, but when I do, I almost never admit it. I'm just saying. My picks weren't good this week and I'm ashamed. Real ashamed. Ashamed like the time I couldn't think of what to cook at my BYU themed tailgate and decided just to do spicy chicken quesadillas. They don't eat spicy chicken quesadillas in Utah. Their signature foods at stuff like a potato casserole called funeral potatoes, lime Jell-O with vegetables in it, burgers with pastrami on them (??), and a dipping sauce for fries that mysteriously is just mayo, ketchup, and relish. Seriously, I looked it up . So while I'm eating enjoying my quesadilla it hit me. Jell-O shots. Jell-O shots would have been fkn PERFEC...

NCAA Pick'em NCAA - Week 3 Form   NCAA - Week 3 Scores   NFL Pick'em NFL - Week 3 Form NFL - Week 3 Scores

Hey league. Shout out from Jury Room #2 and the Harris County court system. Shout out to civic duties. Shout out to all you potential jurors reading this over my shoulder. I know its tight here, but seriously -- this is awkward. I’m in two photos already. Shout out to Facebook posts. People freaking post everything to Facebook these days. One of the pictures is a selfie. Tag me. I’m in the one in the photo with the “Seriously?” look on my face. Week two of FBS games. Week one of NFL games. First blog post. Zero Ray Rices. Anyone ready to change their team name to “Beats by Ray”? That one is still available -- you insensitive bastards. We do have a history here at Pickem-Football for that kind of stuff. Not domestic violence -- you accusatory bastards. I’m talking about insensitivity. Anyone remember when Turn Down for Whats (KW) made that sweet but country strong Sooner fan quit because of his insensitive remarks about sexual abuse? (She was also last in points and hadn't p...