Pickem Dash Football

What did you regret with the passing of the regular season? I’m here to care for you as we move on to the after-season, and I will provide you comfort for each of your regrets. Huntwick Hosers (KW): “I regret that I picked so poorly.” – But hopefully your picks were as rich in spirits as mine were. The Texans don’t need a GM (CK): “I regret believing the Horns’ hype. Again.” Accidentchild (MN): “I regret picking Texas too much.” – Texas covered against Oklahoma, and every real fan knows covering against your rival is all that matters. Cornholio's Bunghole (BO): “Duh... I regret that I didn't win one week!!” Cockypantherfan (SZ): “I regret not winning.” – Some will tell you that winning isn’t everything. A millennial may tell you that we are all winners. It means most to me that you wanted to win. 17 National Championships (CG)” “No regrets bro!!!” – Yeah! I Look Good On Top (BF): “No regrets....ever.” – YEAH! Commodore Nation (KH): “No regerts!” – YYE oohh, oh no.

Kyler Murray is so crappy. "How crappy is he?" you say. I'm glad you asked. Ok look. Kyler isn't actually crappy. Most of us would trade places, and we'd be doing a way sh!ttier Kyler than Kyler is doing. But just like we've always viewed sports, and how the Internet has quickly devolved: Everything is either the worst or the best. Kyler is rich, talented, and people genuinely love him. However for a brief moment in P-F NFL Week 7, we will take a look at just how crappy Kyler Murray is. Just remember to keep your head up Kyler, there are tons of footprints in your sand. Like, literally crappy: (+4) Gigem! (AP): He's a little shitty >> It's like you are afraid of commitment Cornholio's Bunghole (BO): Crappier than a newborn's diaper. >> also, little shits Cockypantherfan (SZ): So crappy he leaves shit stains in his underwear >> yeah butt who doesn't General Wartz (JM): Pretty stinky >> like yesterday

I think know that we all have a little Baker Mayfield crush. Do not deny it. Everyone is either (1) a huge Baker fanatic or (2) a closet Baker lover. You cannot convince me otherwise. What kind of Baker fan are you? (1) Baker fanatics: SoonerTheBetter (BL): Baker-is-the-greatest-QB-in-college-history-and-will-take-Tom-Brady's-place-as- the-greatest-of-all-time-in-the-NFL. That kind of fan. Word up. I’m sure you’ll find no arguments here. +4 Shake and Baker (JN): I was the biggest of Baker fan until my wife informed me she would leave me for him. You need to support your wife. She’s good people. +3 Beelzebubbles (CC): Like, i love love him. Like his underwear modeling is my rotating background. He's the total package. +4 Cornholio's Bunghole (BO): Well, I'm straight, so I can't be a closet Baker lover. I must be a Baker fanatic. Love is not logical. Love is irrational. You get it. +3 The Texans don’t need a GM (CK): Dangerous Move over Queen

Despite James Madison's warning of "the tyranny of the majority," I'm okay with most decisions here being majority rule. In our recruitment form this year, I let you vote on changing NFL picks from straight up to against the spread. As a way of documenting the reasons why we do what we do around here, I also gave you the forum to defend your position. However like our democracy here in the United States, or should I say republic, you probably need your commissioner to clarify and validate your opinions. Below are the official commissioner interpretations of what your answer sounded like. Almost no one wanted to switch the NFL contest to against the spread. Why not? I voted for lines. Rest of the league is soft. - BlitzKrieg (RK) This sounds like you aren't interested in some of the solid arguments that are going to follow. I did don’t blame me - Too much pressure to come up with a name quickly (KS) This sounds a little defensive sir, so I DO BLAME Y

Don’t Sleep On Pick’em Dash Football Science does not fully understand why sleeping is necessary, but you and I empirically understand sleeping is vital to our bodies’ health and cognitive functions. Good morning, you guys. It is the dawn of the 2019 football season. Ready to sign up? Use the "too long, didn't read" link at the end of this sentence to go straight to the registration form .  By the close of last season, you were probably experiencing a decrease in mental functions, a distorted sense of time, a lack of awareness to your job and family, and – God bless you – all weekend day and night game watching fatigue. While I’m sure you didn’t realize any of this at the time, you are better off today than you were last February. While you rested, your P-F-cells raced around inside, repairing and restoring all your questionable decisions made while you were weak and vulnerable. Did You Dream About It? Last pick’em season, your brain worked hard to make all th